Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Betsy's Rant Number 768

This morning I woke up in a really good mood.
The weather was spectacular.
A little cool.
Perfect for a walk before breakfast!!!!
I start out feeling good about myself.
Getting a jump on my exercise.
Loving the world, I tell ya.

First up, I pass the landscapers having their morning snack.
I live on a large piece of land, more like an estate.
I convince myself I am Lady of the Manor.
Pay no attention to the other 99 condo owners who live here too.
They are only here by my sufferance.
I continue around the pond.
(Our My condos are situated around several ponds, one of them is the main one we all walk around.)
As I am walking, I am enjoying all the wild life.
There are tons of carp in the pond.
They are ginormous and love to congregate around the fountains in the center.
they look like dappled gold frolicking in the water.
Very Zen.
I am in the zone.
Next I see a Baltimore Oriole.
You don't see many in Massachusetts.
It was forcing the Blue Heron away from its tree.
Yes! We even have a Blue Heron that hangs out here during the day.
And then I came upon our Geese Family.
I pass these guys every day with my parents.
They see me every day.
Every day.
They have 3 goslings.
We've been watching them get bigger and bigger.
today as I am walking by, they were very close to the road, eating the grass I pay to have mowed and fertilized for their pleasure.
I figured, 
they are used to people.
They won't mind me being this close.
And the Mom Dad Mom who can tell, anyway?
How can they even tell???????
stuck out it's (her's? his?) tongue and hissed at me!!!!!
So I replied in my best 14 year old voice...
"Oh, get over it."
and kept walking,
where upon it honked at me!!!!
So I responded in my grown up 17 year old attitude....
"Just cut it out!!!!!"

Screw Kum Ba Yah!!!!
So much for communing with the animals.
I want all my money back that I've sent to shelters and wildlife centers.

Now I regret helping that baby turtle across the road so it wouldn't get squished.
Now I regret putting all those worms I find on the driveway back on the grass.
Next time I see that @#$ baby rabbit in my back yard eyeing my hosta, I won't be so nice about it.
turkeys, watch out at Thanksgiving time, I may have a different agenda for you this year than just taking pictures.

So these are the pithy blog posts I think up as I go on my walk.
When I was younger, I exercised to keep my weight down.
I would run, and then get sore from my exertion.
Now I exercise so I don't get sore from my inertia!!!!
It used to be, if I ran too much my knees would hurt.
If I sit too much my hips hurt.
Aging is such a blast!!!!!

On that note,
Latah, Gatah 


Vikki said...

Too funny Betsy!

Kathy@ Gone North said...

Seriously ?? They dared to hiss & honk at you, The LADY of the Manor?? Seriously?? You, the one who pays for the care of the grass, for their pleasure, who saves their pond-mate from getting squished ??
Off with their heads, I say.... : )
(You, are a hoot!!)

Emma Kate at Paint and Style said...

I have the hip pain on sitting too, but try this; quit crossing your legs. Also when you sit, make sure your bottom is higher than your knees. Raise your seat cushion if need be. It really works! So hard to not cross your legs though.
I love your stone table! xx

Ellicia said...

There is nothing worse than animals with an attitude. When I was a youngster, I remember being chased by a pair of those suckers on my aunt's farm. Their wingspan is enormous, It was like being chased by a B-52.

Cindy said...

So funny! Those are some ungrateful geese!


Cynthia said...

Great post!! We have many ungrateful animals around us too. We tell them when they pay the bills then they can drive us crazy!


Anonymous said...

OMG! How funny! I needed to read this! Painted
furniture all day long in my overheated four
bay garage here in Maine....Would have much
rather met up with some ugly ass geese or a
rabid freaking rabbit!!!!!
Love reading your posts, have coffee stains
that are spit all over my computer stain that
I blame you for!!!!!

Patricia said...

So Funny ! How dare they ! Ingrates !
Although, I spose, they were just trying to protect the little 'uns......

Anonymous said...

Just the laugh I needed Betsy! And hey, MY name is Anonymous. Why are there other people using my name too? Mystery of the greatest sort.....

Scribbler said...

Ain't it the truth? Aging sucks.

fixitfaerie said...

At least your walk started out ok. And then it turned to sh*((. I hope it didn't ruin the rest of your day. Seriously.
As I sat on my tush, watching TV and cruising the internet trying not to be depressed (my last birthday before the BIG six 0 is Friday), my daughter called because I left her a message. Well she thought I must have had a stroke, because, I hardly made any sense to her. So no, I didn't have a stroke, but my brain has been in neutral all week. I have no idea why I am telling u all of this. Have a Much Better day tomorrow. Paula

Anonymous said...

That's why we call them "killer geese". They're just plain mean.

Briana from Texas

Divine Theatre said...

Maybe you had feathers on you from your comforter and the goose was a friend of the former tenant?



laney said...

...don't even get me started on the deer...i am so over bambi...blessings laney

Debi said...

And here the gopher tortoises (protected I might add!) hiss at us also as they cross thru the lawns. WE must move for them as they pass thru!

Babs said...

What? No photos of geese hissing and honking? LOL funny.

Victoria said...

I hear you. Especially about the hips. I have that recording.

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