Monday, January 13, 2014

My Driveway is NOT a #$% animal refuge!!!!!

Now just wait one minute.....
What is going on in front of my house?????
I have turkeys....
I have geese....
I have deer....
I even have coyotes, but those are hard to photograph, because they are gone by the time I grab my camera.
I know I was supposed to talk about Kris's custom lampshades today, 
true to form.....
I am off on another tangent.
I live in the suburbs.
Next to a bunch of conservation land.
Not exactly wild kingdom.
Wildlife has been proliferating all over the New England area, and I have been astonished by the increase around my house.
to entertain me I am going to write about it.....
and show you guys my pictures.
FIRST the weird turkey that decided that the cool thing to do at dusk was hang out on my parents roof, next door to me.

He thinks he's a weather vane!!!!!
Bernice, our next door neighbor, hated when he flew up there because he made her home shake as he walked around on top of the roof.
So, being the nature lover that she is.....
she got out her trusty garden hose and let him have it*.
*note to readers.....Turkey's are trainable!!!!!
I've been writing about the turkeys for a while.
Sharing our problems with the aggressive toms.
But they be purdy!!!!
 Dis guy thinks he all that!
He be struttin'!!!!!
we have around 21 of these animals hanging out every day in the winter.
You know what happens when animals eat?????
They poop!!!!!
That's 21 poopin' turkeys.
for those of you interested.
And for those of you who aren't, I don't care.....
Female turkey poop is shaped in a spiral, and male turkey poop is shaped in a J!!!!!
How do I know this?????
I read about it on the internets!!!!!

Speaking of pooping animals.
Don't even get me started on geese.
This past fall, as the geese migrated towards warmer climes,
they decided that my driveway was a good resting place.
Well I don't agree.
It's for me and my neighbors.
Get off my land!!!!!
Don't they know that this is not water?????
I think that the goose below feels it's floating in a pond.
Go poop somewhere else.
But they be purdy.

What caused me to go on this tirade, 
couple days ago, I was sitting at my computer, writing my blog for the entertainment of the masses,
when out of the corner of my eye I spied movement.
There on my driveway.....
were a bunch of deer.
If you look closely at this picture, you'll see a whole lotta of legs behind the front deer.
 So, I ran and got my camera, and started shooting between the slats of my window shutters. First, I just got a couple.
These guys were acting like they belonged here.
Well, I don't see them paying any condo fees.....
This guy was working her way towards my shrubs.
Getting closer to my rose bushes.
Seeing what's good to eat.
I carefully opened my front storm door for a better view.
"what's that noise???"
Then she spotted me.
Was completely not impressed with my human dangerousness!!!!!
More kept coming.
And more.
By now, I realized, though they were purdy, 
they were liking my shrubs too much.
So, as an animal lover with lots of class.....
I opened my door and yelled at them to 
Walden Pond this ain't.

On a positive note to end this completely pointless blog,
I no longer need to walk around here with an umbrella for protection against the rouge turkey toms.
The Environmental Police Officer seems to have accomplished what he set out to do, and they no longer hang out near my home
So, good bye mister police guy.
That's it for today, Kampers.

Latah, Gatah


Connie @ Sensible-Redesign said...

I hate it when the wildlife make a smorgasbord board of my garden. Making like its thier personal buffet!! I see you have the same problem, BUT they are sure fun to watch. Enjoy your blog lots ;)

Anonymous said...

In Falmouth, Maine this past October, a woman heard a rustling sound in her bedroom at 4 a.m., turned on her light, and found a possum sitting in a chair.

Anonymous said...

I think that is neat !

Unknown said...

Great candid photos of your wildlife friends and I especially like the one where the deer is looking right you! My wildlife here consists of one lonely opossum who nibbles on the dry cat food left out on the patio at night and he looks at me the way that deer looked at to say, "what?"

roger said...

Turkeys are best viewed through the glass door of the oven!

Unknown said...

The sorry old turkey on the roof is hilarious, his poor ratty tail feathers. What a disheveled looking bird, you know in his mind he sees himself as the most majestic turkey in the land!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! What fabulous photos...really beautiful. Marilyn in Mt. Vernon, VA

Donnamae said...

He does look like a weathervane! Great pics...they are all so handsome....but, they can also be so destructive. We live next to a conservation area too, and we have lots of careful of your roses...they eat those...and just about everything else if they are hungry! ;)

Mary said...

OH my you are so funny. hahahahaha! not paying Condo Fees hahahahhaa! Made my day!

From Virginia

Anonymous said...

Great pictures, thanks for sharing. The deer will bless you with ticks all over in addition to eating any and all vegetation. They have adopted my yard (in Fla) and my dogs, who are only let out when I am with them, have paid the price with constant tick infestations. I have spent enough to redecorate a room on tick-killing vet products.

Anonymous said...

I must have missed something, why aren't you in Florida this time of year?

Blogless Peggy in VA

Anonymous said...

Your life is a Disney movie
And you are Snow @#%$&* White.

Anonymous said...

Just a note for your deer sufferers; my uncle in Paradise, CA had trouble with the deer eating his garden & fruit trees.
He ordered some....get ready for this: Lion Pee online. (I always wonder how they actually get it to put it in a bottle.)He soaked strips of rag in it and hung it around the property. The deer left and didn't come back.

fixitfaerie said...

You do realize that these animals come to your condo every winter? lol You are just in Flerida and don't see them! You crack me up! Paula

Unknown said...

lol, this post made my day, your too funny, love the way, I live in southern Indiana....out in the country, and it is a pretty rare experience to see any of the animal you see! what is that all about???

Anonymous said...

Laughing! Awesome post. Gail

Divine Theatre said...

You are the Harriet Tubman of the underground wildlife railroad...except with better lampshades.


Linens said...

Superb Post, Verrrrrrrryyyyyyy Beautiful pictures you have shared here. I love greenery. I feel very well while i'm walking in a garden or other greenery place. well! i think the deer will bless you with ticks all over in addition to eating any and all vegetation. They have adopted my yard (in Fla) and my dogs, who are only let out when I am with them, have paid the price with constant tick infestations.

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