Two doors down, another victim

I'm a little late in writing today 'cuz Gracie and Joanie came to visit.....

Gracie is the grey one.....

I told her she had to leave, 'cuz I had to write my blog, but she just laughed at me....

She and Joanie live two doors down, and sometimes they come over to see what's up wid me.

Joanie has a really good act down.....

She acts pathetic, and clueless, and needy.....

like she doesn't know what to do to her house.....

(she has the same floorplan I do)

Then looks at me with big puppy dog eyes, whining for help.....

Meanwhile...Gracie....(the grey one), doesn't do no whining.

She be tough!

She be all about-----I don't need no stinkin' decoratin!!!!

However, Joanie has me completely sucked into helping her.

Sometimes I wonder if my "friends" on my street would still love me if I didn't know how to pick colors and reupholster stuff!!??!!

They invite me to parties to throw me off the track, that they don't really like me.

They're just lucky that I like their parties.

THEY JUST WANT ME FOR MY PAINT CHIPS!!!

Since I'm going back to Massachusetts on Tuesday, yesterday I hit the street with my Benjamin Moore large paint chips, and chose colors for the rest of Helene's downstairs, and Sergio's office.

This way they will be painted before I come back in the fall, and I won't have to lift a brush!!!!

While I'm bitching telling you about Joanie.....

Let me share some of her bedroom exploits!!!!!

This is a chair in Joanie's master bedroom.

I GAVE IT TO HER.....

This is how the story went.....

I have this great painter/wallpaper guy....

(if you live in the Palm Beach County area, he's the best!!!

Tim at Metropolitan Painting)

OK, that was a plug for Timmy, 

now back to the story.

His wife had this chair in their garage for a gazillion years.

She kept on meaning to get to it.

It sat there

and sat there

and sat there

etc.

etc.

etc.

One day.....

Tim was doing some work for me, and I told him 

(all excited and bouncing around, like I sometimes do)

that I was taking an adult education class in upholstering!!!

He told me about this chair, asked if I would be interested in getting my mits on it?????

I said, said I

"YOU BETCHA!!!!!"

(I was using that expression way before Sarah Palin ever did....I'm older than she is, I said it first.)

(Though I can't see Russia from my window)

(I also read two newspapers, not that this is a political blog)

Oy, now where was I?????

Oh, yeah...."You betcha!!!!!"

So Tim brought the chair over, and it was dark beat up wood, and covered in plywood panels with a thin layer of foam and crappy old dirty fabric.

I can't believe I didn't take any before pictures!!!!

But I didn't know I would someday write a blog.

OY!!!!

So Joanie and I made a deal.....

She would paint it and pay for the fabric and supplies, and I would recover it in my upholstery class.

(When I told Joanie today,that I was writing about the chair, she asked if I was going to tell everyone what a bad paint job she did....and I replied...

"you betcha!"

I reworked how the piece would be done, as the previous upholstery on the arms went all the way up and over in one piece.

But I wanted to give the look of a little rolled arm, so I worked out a different detail, and I think

I rock!!!

Here's a shot of the back...

I took Joanie to a local fabric store and guided her to this fabric choice through sheer bullying and intimidation.

She claims she loves it, I think she's scared of me 'cuz I'm taller than she is.

She's a shrimp.

Probably why she has such a little dog.

Then I got her to change the color of her walls to this pretty blue....

Now don't go asking me what color this is....

it would look different in your house.

Not being happy to disrupt change her bedroom....

I pushed my way into her bathroom and invested my two cents.

Actually, that's not right.....

Now that I think about it.....

SHE ASKED ME TO REDO HER VANITY STOOL.

Again, no before shot!!!!

It was a cube of plywood covered in a dark brocade like fabric.

Wellllll.......

I wanted to put a skirt on it......

She had gotten it from Home Goods or someplace that sells cheapy stuff, and it had obviously been made in a foreign country, because 

NO ONE IN AMERICA WOULD USE STAPLES THAT LARGE TO TACK FABRIC TO PLYWOOD.

I mean......OY VEY!!!!!

It was excruciating trying to get all those staples out of the @#$ plywood.

The staples were 

ginormous!!!!!

Anyway.....

I did a less than stellar job, as all four corners are different.

kind of a corner sampler, if you will.

But Joanie is a trooper, and she claims she loves it.

So she plunked it in front of her dressing table, where upon I immediately criticized her furniture placement.

I wanted something that was taller at the vanity.

JUST LIKE I DID IN MY BATHROOM!!!

We were shopping at Home Goods, and I spotted a chair that I felt would be great for her vanity.

So of course she ignored me, and didn't buy it.

WELLLLLL.......

She thought about it and went back to buy it,

BUT OF COURSE IT WAS GONE!!!!!!

Thank goodness Home Goods and TJ Max are owned by the same company, as she found another chair like that one at TJ Max.

She's had the damn thing for a month, and hasn't taken the tag off it.

She wanted me to look at if first, to make sure I liked it.

Just one more thing that I can make fun of.

Take the @#$ tag off Joanie!!!!

So now the bench has been moved over by the tub.....

And when I come back next fall, I'll reupholster the back of the chair, and make a flirty skirted slip cover for the seat.

'Course, I haven't let Joanie know yet, but she reads my blog, so she's bound to find out.

I still have two more posts before I leave, so thankfully I haven't shown you guys all of my Flerida home yet.

Then it will be up to Massachusetts, and we'll cover New England cottage decorating!!!!!

Yeah, man!!!!!

Later Gator

 
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