All Right Already!!!!! I'll Write a Post!!!!!

My god, you people are pathetic!

It's so nice to be missed!!!!!

I thought I could slip away into the night and work on my fabric line without anyone noticing I wasn't writing my blog.

WELL,

 it worked for a while.... 

but then you smarty pants started to realize that you weren't being annoyed by my banal ramblings,

 and started to send me winy, needy, get-a-life comments.

Begging, pleading, imploring, beseeching,  requesting me to not abandon you  continue with my pithy posts.

Not to be confused with pissy posts!!!!

Although.....I guess they could be both pithy and pissy.....

As to how I'm doing on designing this line of fabric from hell....

let me just say that I don't know what the #$% I'm doing....but I have a year to figure it out.

We were discussing when we would launch it.

Next spring or next fall.....

I assured everybody that next fall was WAY BETTER!!!!!

That gives me six extra months to fake that fact that I know what I'm doing.

I am starting to get a handle on it.

My main goal in my designs is not to embarrass myself.....

Not to make a lot of moolah.....

Not to do stunning designs.....

just to not look like a total and complete moron.

I have high aspirations!!!!!! 

Sooooooo....

let me catch you guys up on some of the stuff I've been doing that doesn't involve sitting for hours at my computer manipulating graphics programs, 

or watching Don't Be Tardy on TV.

OK, confession time.....I love that show.....

Isn't AJ the cutest brat?????

Pure light hearted entertainment, without any nastiness.

Although....don't get me wrong.....The Real Housewives of New York City ROCKS!!

Shows like "Ray Donovan", "The Bridge", "The Good Wife", "Masters of Sex" are very entertaining.....

BUT YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THE PLOT!!!!!

With shows like "Don't Be Tardy", if you miss something in the show, 

doesn't matter!!!!

you can just keep watching where you picked up!

My idea of TV nirvana self medication. 

I told you I was going to go over the floor plan of my little cottage on Cape Cod.

I wanted to show you guys how to manipulate tiny spaces into what felt like a larger area.

But that's not as much fun as showing what Kris and I have been up to on her front porch.

Sooooo...

Because I'm a girl that's all about fun....

Here's what her porch looked like before we started the attack.

Because she lives  within a New England town, all the telephone and electric wires are strung from poles.

I've become spoiled, as both my houses are in neighborhoods that have them under ground.

But she lives  in a neighborhood that's over a hundred years old, and they didn't have shovels back then.

Some previous owner thought it was a good idea to clad the house in vinyl siding.

Oy.

All that does is hide any water or termite damage from inquiring eyes.

To top off the insult to this lovely old home, when Kris had to replace the porch railing, the town building inspector made them install one that was 42 inches high.

This was not the town code, it was his own personal idea of safety.

  Not to cast aspersions on the man.....

but what the @#$?????

To finish off the assault to the appearance of the approach to Kris's home.

A previous owner thought that white shutters on a white house was a good idea.

Well it isn't!!!!!

No visual contrast.

None.

Nada.

Here's a view of the porch to the right.

Here's a view of the porch to the left.

Kris is attacking the exterior one side at a time, as it ain't cheap to replace and restore the look of original siding.

She chose Hardy Plank as a good solution to resisting the extremes of New England weather.

It's a composite board that looks like wood but is made from wood fibers as well as cement.

First we had to strip off the vinyl siding.

I would like to note at this juncture, that when I write "we", I mean Nigel, my fabuloso contractor.

If you think I'm hoisting a pry bar, you've lost your tiny minds.

The destruction continues!!!

As well as new siding, we were installing new, more energy efficient, prettier windows; as someone in the past had replaced the original ones with crappy vinyl, or aluminum, or something.

Here are the guys!!!!!

That's Nigel on the left.

He's mine, get your own stinkin' contractor.

This is what was under the siding.

Rotting in hidden glory,

This is Nigel's lunch.

This is a thoroughly documented story. 

So that's it for today.

Next post will show what we've done to make the house beeoutiful!

It's takes a long time to write this crap, you know.

So, you'll just have to wait.

On that note,

Latah, Gatah