Saturday, November 9, 2013

I'm NOT as Smart as I Thought.....

Or....Why Can't I Figure This Out????? 

OK Kampers.....
today I'm going to share my adventures with my new serger....
 and some more turkey stories....
 and working on my niece Miriam's living room bookcase.....

First, let's catch up on the four renegade turkey toms.
THESE @#$ REFUSE TO BACK DOWN!!!!!
My neighbor suggested that I spray them with a hose,
but I'm too much of a scaredy cat to get over to the hose bib to turn on the water, 
they might pin me against the house and attack!!!!!
Hmmmmmm......
what to do.... what to do?????

I went to Amazon.com and bought myself a Super Soaker!!!!!

I'm thinking of sewing a holster,so I can strap it to my back.....
 so when I walk around the pond where I live, I will be prepared!
It will beat having to carry my umbrella for protection!!!!
And I'll look way cool!!!!!
I'll look like a babe from one of those Apocalypse movies!!!!
Like Blade Runner.....
or
Mad Max.....
or
Road Warrior.....
Just call be Badass Betsy!!!!!
I should get the gun sometime this week, and will keep you informed as to how it works.
As the British would say.....
I am chuffed!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, 
let me tell you about my new serger!!!!!
In case you can't tell.....
I bought a serger!!!!!
The sewing store I bought if from (Marie's Sewing Center) gives lessons on how to thread them.
I figured that I didn't need no stinkin' lesson.....
I could just read the manual.
I am smahrt.
I am mechanically inclined.
I am wonder woman!!!
Soooooo.....
on Tuesday I sat down at my sewing table and set up my new machine.
I opened up the manual and started to read.
I familiarized myself with all the parts.
I looked at all the parts.
I touched all the parts.
THEN.....
I got to the section on how to thread the object from hell serger.
what?????
HUNH?????
They have got to be kidding.
The instructions are telling me to use a threader to thread it.
Only the threader is not included.
It's an extra accessory.
Also.....
I forgot to buy the big spools of thread that I need.
I need four spools for the serger.
I don't have any.
So,
I call the store to see when the next class is.
I would like one right away please.
like now.
because I want to use my serger.
like now.
WELL.....
the last one was given last night.
What?????
The next one may be in a month.
No, no, no, no, no.
WELL.....
 the lovely women on the phone could tell that I was not a happy camper.
I would like to say, in my defense, that I had a headache and wasn't in the best of moods.
Sooooo.....
she told me that I could come on out that day, and she would show me how to thread the serger.
Yippee!!!!!
So, because I was such a pain in the ass so pathetic.
I got a private lesson.
It took around an hour.
By the time I got to the store for my super private wonderful lesson, I was feeling much better, having  taken a pill for my aching noggin.
So.....
I went from an absolutely sour mood earlier in the day to absolute euphoria by the afternoon!!!!
She informed me that the serger I have is one of the easiest to thread.
OY, OY, OY, OY, OY.
If this is an easy one, what must the hard ones be like?????
It turned out that I didn't need the needle threader after all.
The tweezers that come with the machine do the trick.
It's really cool how the tweezers can be used to hold the tread to thread the needle.
I felt like a surgeon.
As soon as I got home, I ran up to my sewing room to thread the serger before I forgot how to do it.
I called the store to tell them that they were champs in  my book!!!!
Then.
I continued to read the instruction manual, and was informed that to keep the machine running smoothly, I would need to apply a drop of light machine oil on a regular basis.
WELL!!!!
I didn't buy any.
The store is 1/2 hour away.
OY. OY. OY. OY.
So, yesterday I went back and bought the oil.
Now I am all set.
I must say, the machine works like a charm, and I don't know how I've lived without one all these many, many, many, many, (etc.etc. etc.) years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now....
back to Miriam's living room.....
I've started working on the accessories in her room.
She's got the large bookcase that we had installed along the interior wall.
Kris and I have a collection of blue Bristol Glass that hadn't sold.
We decided to give it to the kids for their living room.
Sooooo.....
I carried it out to their house and unpacked it, lining it up on the mantel.
I was ready to start arranging it on the bookshelves.
That's when I noticed that Miriam has a #$% load of unattractive stuff on the bookshelves.....
So....
I says to her, says I....
"Miriam, my darling niece, what's all this #$% on the shelves?????"
Where upon she answers.....
"Why, my dearest aunt, that be my stuff!!!!!"
"But Miriam, it's ugly!!!!!"
"But, Aunt B, I needs it!!!!!"
Sooooo.....
I went to Pottery Barn's website and bought her a bunch of lined baskets that can hold her stuff and nicely fit on the shelves.
This way it keeps her things in easy reach and out of the offended eyes of her youngest aunt.
Savannah Underbed Baskets
She wanted baskets with liners, so I got those too.
The liners, that is.
Without any words.
If we want some stinkin' words on the liners, we can stencil our own!!!!!
Savannah Underbed Baskets
Well, 
that's it for today fellow Kampers.
It's time for my lunch, and you know what happens when I get hungry,
it's not a pretty sight.

On that note,
Latah, Gatah
Photobucket

18 comments:

gme said...

Oh how funny AND I feel your pain! I know how frustrating a new machine can be, especially when the store is a long ways away. Keep us posted on your serging endeavors. I'm thinking of investing in one myself and would like to see some of your projects . What kind did you get?

Betsy Speert said...

Ummm.....there's a big honking picture of it in the post!!!

Beverly Kennedy said...

Always enjoy your blog, Betsy!!! Looking forward to the next installment of Betsy versus "The Wild Turks"!!! Power to the SuperSoaker!!! Power to the Gatah Lady!!!

Anonymous said...

Chuckle, you are funny. Love my serger. I think I have the kind that is not easy to thread but I still love it.

Krista

Beverly Kennedy said...

Betsy, always enjoy your blog!!! Looking forward to the next installment of Betsy versus "The Wild Turks"!!! Power to the SuperSoaker and to "The Gatah Lady" !!!

Donnamae said...

Ok Badass Betsy...I wish you luck with the turkey's! ;)

gme said...

Oh sorry! My computer is very slow and sometimes all the pictures don't show up. Love my Janome embroidery machine. Hope to hear how well you like the Janome serger.

Alison Perkins said...

I was excited when I acquired my mother's serger so when I took off the cover I was completely dumb founded, put the cover back on and back to using that zig-zag sewing stitch again. But you have inspired me, if Betsy can do it...so can I! You say a tweezers huh? Hmmm... Hope you bag one of those turkeys for Thanksgiving! Alison

Beth C. said...

Umm...what's a surger? (Asked in a wee small voice). And in an even smaller voice...what's it used for? I'll duck now. Best, Beth C.

Anonymous said...

been there done that serger pain! i was given an old one by a friend whose mom has passed. just between us i think it was the serger that killed her. fortunately i have had 2 surgeries this year and another scheduled in 10 days so i haven't learned how to really use it yet! ;-) probably saved my life!!! suzi

bmayer said...

Sergers are wonderful!....I should dig mine out of the back of the closet. Did your teacher mention that when you want to re-thread with a different color, all you need to do is cut the "old" thread near the spool, tie the end of the new thread to the end you just cut, and pull the other end of the old thread, there by pulling the new thread painlessly through all those crazy gizmos, and ta da! you are threaded with the new color?. I hope that made sense!
Bernie

Betsy Speert said...

Yes, Bernie, she told me that.....
But I wanted to be in control of my destiny!
I wanted to learn!
(I also skipped over that page in the manual, didn't see it.....when I freaked out.....)

Anonymous said...

Betsy - thank you for writing about the Bristol glass. I have an incredible large vase I purchased for a song and didn't know what it was called. Now I do! Now I can collect more!

HMax said...

Betsy, you are frickin' hilarious! I love your blog! I was also interested to see that the blue stuff is called Bristol Glass...I have two vases from my Grandmother and was hoping to take them to Antiques Roadshow and clean up. Alas...
Heather

Anonymous said...

First, I love what you've done to your niece's house and thanks for doing the upholstery tutorials. I think you did superb work on that chair for Chris' guest room. It's beautiful! Second, this weekend I saw a news piece about a condo property in San Ramon Ca pestered by wild boars. Wow...what damage they can do. The lawn is all dug up, like someone went through with a rototiller, thousands of dollars worth of damage. The HOA hired a guy with a bow and arrow to hunt 'em down. He killed one and the other two ran like heck off the property. I used a super-soaker once to pester some pidgeons to go away. Within a few times, they figured out exactly what the arc of the stream was and walked defiently just an inch beyond! So you may have to keep moving agressively forward to hit the turkeys and be sure they are all in front of you. Good luck!

Mary said...

My mother in law had a two super soakers to get rid of the aggressive squirrels in her back yard. My boys loved going to Meemaw's and seating on the screened porch super soaking squirrels. Nothing like a grandmother teaching such things to her grandchildren.

I am glad you got your machine figured out. My mother had one and loved it.

Once again, Miriam is too lucky.

Mary
From Virginia

Divine Theatre said...

If a thirteen year old Chinese kid can thread a serger than you can too. True story.
As for the turkeys, maybe if you paint half of your face blue, ala Mel Gibson in Braveheart, they will know you are serious and leave off. A horse would be a nice touch. Gosh, that movie moved me. Then again, the neighbors might call the police on you.

xo

Skye said...

Badass Betsy, please post photos of you with your holstered Super Soaker when the ensemble is complete! We are waiting impatiently.

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